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A man was digging in his garden when he saw a long line of people walking behind a funeral procession with two hearses at the head of it. One man walked at the head of the proceedings with a pit bull on a leash. Curious, the gardener got up and joined the line behind the [...]
An old man was fishing with his grandson and the boy looked up at him and said, “Grandpa, how come you have such a small head?” the old man looked down at the unusual question and said, “Well, son, you see I was fishing one day and caught a mermaid. She said she would grant [...]
A woman went on vacation to Jamaica. She met a hot black man and made passionate love to him every night. Finally before she left she asked him his name. He replied, ‘Snow’. When she laughed he got offended. She said, “No, I wasn’t making fun of your name, but my husband is going to [...]
A nun asked her students what Eve said to Adam when they met. One student looked up and said ‘Wow, that’s a hard one.” The nun smiled and said, that’s correct.
It’s great being a kid.. the tooth fairy brings you money for losing a tooth, the Christmas fairy brings you a present for being good, and the sodomy fairy brings you a new Xbox for not telling mommy!
A math teacher in a GED class asked his class what comes after 69? A brightly dressed woman in the rear raised her hand and said “You wash your hands and rinse your mouth, duh.”
What do you do if your woman gets too fat?
Start her to walking 3 miles every morning, and 3 miles every night, by the end of the day the fat bitch will be 6 miles away!
What is the one thing that will always come out of a cock?… The wrinkles
A woman enters a bar and asks for two martinis. The bartender gives her the drinks and she guzzles one down and procedes to pour the other down her pants. The bartender watches her curiously and then asked her why she did it. The woman replied, “I won the Lottery, and this is the only [...]
The best stock investments you can make are condom companies. They are bound to go up eventually.