Dirty Text Messages

Dear Santa, i have been a naughty girl very very naughty! r u goin to put me on your knees and spank my tushy Santa? xXx

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Want 2 play war?
.
.
.
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I’ll lay down and u can blow the fuck out of me!

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you look good,
you look fine,
on the top or 69,
feel the sweat,
feel the heat,
i want you and you want me

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What does it mean when you come home to a great meal, lots of love, and great sex?… You’re in the wrong damned house.

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A woman went on vacation to Jamaica. She met a hot black man and made passionate love to him every night. Finally before she left she asked him his name. He replied, ‘Snow’. When she laughed he got offended. She said, “No, I wasn’t making fun of your name, but my husband is going to [...]

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A nun asked her students what Eve said to Adam when they met. One student looked up and said ‘Wow, that’s a hard one.” The nun smiled and said, that’s correct.

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It’s great being a kid.. the tooth fairy brings you money for losing a tooth, the Christmas fairy brings you a present for being good, and the sodomy fairy brings you a new Xbox for not telling mommy!

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The best stock investments you can make are condom companies. They are bound to go up eventually.

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Hickery dickery doc some bitch was gobbling my cock, the slut tangled her hair and was dangling there but first she swallowed the lot.

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sex Is Like a Mathematics Test . . ! Me Plus u . . . Subtract The Clothes . . . Plus The bed . . . Divide The Legs…Multiply The orgasms . . . Fancy a Mathematics Test . . ?

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